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Saturday, September 5, 2020

Post DBT Update

Comment I posted on a YouTube video about Borderline:

I'm borderline, just graduated from a year of DBT and have been symptom free for 6 months.  I went from 'knowing' I'm a horrible human to knowing that we're all equal humans that mess up sometimes.  I'm now my own best friend, my inner dialogue has changed and after several suicide attempts, years of ideation, several psych ward stays and years of loathing myself I now love myself.   Recovery IS possible.  Years of therapy, psychiatrists and a bunch of meds didn't help and really made me feel worse.  DBT rewired how I think and it might help you, as well.


2 year update: I'll be honest, there have definitely been some low moments that were similar to my pre-DBT symptoms, but these moments were far fewer and less severe, and I was able to get myself out without professional help by returning to DBT skills/Effective Moments, yoga/exercise, meditation, gratitude journal and epsom salt footbaths while watching 90's Harrison Ford movies. 


If you're suffering now, please remember you're not alone, there is hope and chances are you're a great person that cares deeply about others. You might not be able to see what's good about you because childhood traumas left your brain trained to judge yourself and others through a negative lens, which colors everything you see without you even being aware it's there.  Negative thoughts give rise to negative emotions and if that process happens automatically, then not only does the person feel negative often, but one also has to process that negative emotion before then trying to see the positive in a situation.

Like if I'm running late to work when someone turns in front of me and proceeds below the speed limit for miles in a no-pass zone, I'm liable to feel pretty enraged at the inconsideration of this other driver- if the negative lens is on my brain. In the process of breaking negative thinking pattern, but while the negative lens is still cast, negative emotions are going to erupt at the thought of this inconsiderate asshole making me and others even later for work. After feeling the negative emotions so they'll pass, I'm left with then looking for why this person may have had a legit reason or another positive view of the situation.

Once negative thinking patterns have been replaced by positive-thinking habits, then when the dude pulls in front of me and drives slower than the speed limit, I automatically think "Wow, this guy must either be new or having a rough day, who knows, but there is absolutely nothing I can do so I'm going to accept the situation."

The second approach bypasses negative feelings that erupts when reading other people negatively and instead leads straight to acceptance, which keeps my emotional state manageable.